I remember growing up thinking, "I want three kids. I want two of my own, and I want to adopt one." Ask my mom -- as far back as any of us can remember, adoption was always a part of my plans. When I was younger, I wanted to adopt because it just felt like the right thing to do, because all people are deserving of love, support and affection. I grew up in a religious home, my grandpa was a deacon in church: our family prayed together, participated in church, all that good stuff. I will always remember when grandpa would pray, no matter what for, he would always say somewhere in there, "Lord, bless me so that I may be a blessing to someone else." That giving spirit is the same one my mom and dad instilled in me, and it's something that I have always taken seriously, even as a little girl.
These days, I am a lot less religious, but I am most certainly more spiritually aware, and I try to show that through how I treat my fellow (wo)man. My grandfather's words stick with me, and I try my best to be that blessing to someone else, whether that means buying a meal, donating my clothes or giving my time to someone who needs it.
I have thought about egg donation for a long time. Years, actually. I just didn't tell anyone. It wasn't some deep, dark secret or anything; it was just something that I never had occasion to share. But that occasion arose not too long ago when I went to one of my favorite ladyblogs, Jezebel. There was a post about predatory and unethical egg donation companies. These companies failed to accurately warn potential donors about the risk of such procedures, chose donors based on physical traits, and myriad other horrendous practices. This attracted my attention, because, well, I want to donate. I posted a response to the article, saying that donation was something I had been considering and asking for advice from someone who had done it about where to begin my agency search. Much to my surprise, I got a quick response from Katie who had just completed her first donation cycle in May. She recommended two agencies that provide services to the area, and so I started there.
I was immediately excited and did the pre-screening applications for both companies after looking at their sites, reading reviews about them, and just doing some plain old snooping. The reactions I got from friends and family were pretty interesting. My mom says she totally sees me doing something like this; my sister just shrugged and took another drag of her cigarette; my dad actually seemed a bit interested in the idea and facetiously asked, "So... do they take, like, a dozen?". Kat and Kelly are proud of me and think it's a compassionate thing that I'm doing. My boyfriend, ever the planner, was very supportive of the decision, even though he has his reservations.
When I told Enick, he initially asked me if money was that important. I'd be lying if I said that the financial benefit wasn't a factor, because I do stand to make a good amount of money. But anyone who knows me knows that it is totally true that I want, more than anything, to help someone else. So if not the money, why am I donating my ova? Because I am a young, healthy woman who takes care of her body and has no known illness or reproductive issues. I eat well, I try to run 3-4 times a week, but as I have gotten older, I have come to realize that I have no desire to have biological children. There are enough children on the planet without me making any of my own, and they deserve the type of familial love that I was fortunate enough to receive. That is my personal motivation to adopt. BUT, there are those who would love nothing more than to make a child of their own, and in light of that, why not donate to others what I have no plans on using? The procedure will not inhibit my own productive capabilities, so if I ever change my mind, I can still make my own little Enicks and Kryssis.
The first company I applied to rejected me, and I think I know why. But, today, after anxiously waiting through the end of last week, the second company emailed and said that they want to move forward in this process with me. I immediately called my mom to tell her; she said she was happy for me; I said that I'm just happy that I am about to help someone I don't know complete their family.
And so this will be my record of what I hope will be an eye-opening, introspective and enlightening experience. I'm excited at what lies ahead, and the amazing people I am sure to meet. I hope you'll all join me for the ride.
And to answer my dad's question: yes, typically in an egg retrieval procedure, between 12 and 15 ova are extracted -- they do take a dozen. (^_^)
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